Each and every one of us is unique, not completely though. We all have skin, blood and organs, and . . . mothers. While not all of us have fathers, and we may or may not have living mothers, we all had a mother who brought us into this world.
No matter the relationship with your mother, be she living or, as my friend Victoria says, more than alive, that relationship comes with a lot of emotion. You may have more than one mother as in a birth mother and an adoptive mother, a mother and a stepmother, two mothers, or another configuration of mothers. She or they might be actively involved in your life or totally absent.
No matter the number or type of mother, next weekend’s Hallmark holiday, Mother’s Day, tends to bring a lot of emotions to the surface.
When I worked as the director of a home healthcare agency, finding employees to cover patient care on Mother’s Day was close to impossible. I argued that we needed to consider paying overtime just to have people (women and men) work because everyone was either a mother or had a mother and wanted time to celebrate or commemorate her life.
In my newest podcast episode, I talk about Mother’s Day and provide some ideas for coping with an emotionally charged day, especially if your mother has passed away or is absent from your life. How do you feel about Mother’s Day? Do you have any special traditions?
Please watch, or listen, to the podcast and let me know what you think. If you have ideas for guests and/or topics around life transitions, loss, or grief, please reach out!
I wish you a happy Mother’s Day whether you are a mother through birth, adoption, foster care, or marriage, have a mother, or mother an animal, pet, scout troop, plant, or anyone or anything else. We are all mothers in some way and help nourish a soul or our world.
This week I am celebrating the life of my stepsister, Laurie Gilbert, who passed away this week after a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer. Laurie was the person who was instrumental in making sure her dad (and my other 3 stepisters’ dad) and my mother got together. Without her prodding, they would not have spent their last years happily in love. She was the first of my four stepsisters I met when I became the “baby” of the family in 1996 (our “parentals” didn’t marry until 2002). We didn’t exactly get along smoothly that first time, however, I am very happy to say that we did become close and a cohesive unit in caring for our aging parents. Laurie led a colorful life including travel, working in the television industry with John Ritter and Bil Cosby, and as a paralegal later in life. She was a collector of friends and maintained connections with friends and family members across the world. I will miss her laughter, honesty, and our conversations.
I am also remembering my dog, Migo, whom you might have met at The Rookwood Inn. He passed away a year ago yesterday and was a loving and faithful companion of mine for most of his short nine years.
Yesterday, a friend and I accompanied another friend to Utica, NY for the unveiling of her mother’s headstone. In the Jewish religion, it is customary for a gravestone to be “unveiled” at the one-year anniversary (yahrtzeit) of death. It was an honor to support her in this – something I don’t feel anyone should have to do alone.
Are you remembering someone special this month? What practices have you put into place to keep their memory(ies) alive?
Until the next time, remember I love and appreciate you,
Amy
Amy Lindner-Lesser